When "Keepin' It Real" Goes Wrong...

DISCLAIMER: This is an adult topic and there is GRAPHIC language all over the place. Keep this in mind before you scroll down. You may consider this offensive. But, hey it's a reality.

When "Keepin' It Real" Goes Wrong: New P*ssy Hype Edition

This is what happens when one piece of new p*ssy just isn't enough...

Walk with me down Asshole Avenue for a minute:
In case you've never had a conversation with me, I should explain what new p*ssy is. New P*ssy is a magical, wonderous creation that will have you ready to give up your whole check, leave your girl, and swear everyone around you is "hating on yall's love" because you are so damn sprung. It is a great thing, I mean, we've all been new p*ssy a time or six and we all know when someone we deal with has gotten a whiff of some. It's a beautiful thing...Being New P*ssy will have you thinking you are the baddest b-tch on the block/yard/in the office/at the grocery store-FUCK IT, on the planet!!!! Be careful, don't be that delusional piece of New P*ssy. You know, laying in bed with your man (or somebody's man) and watching him sleep thinking "I got this dude sprung. My sh-t is so good he don't know what to do with himself!" Ahhh yes, the joys of New P*ssy!


....And then it gets old. This magical, wondrous creation gets old, clingy, and demanding-I mean she really starts to believe her own hype SO MUCH that she turns into a GIRLFRIEND/WIFE-When you already have one! Oh NOOOOO!!!!! GASP!!!
....You go off and get an additional piece of "new p*ssy" because now you are chasing that feeling like crack addicts chase their first high. You get out of control and have one or three too many smoking hot, good in bed, mentally unstable bitches..... Your beautiful, sexy fantasy of a woman can't take the fact that the hype is gone. She knows how she had you wrapped around her finger and how easily she took you from your wife/girl and can tell that your attention is now ELSEwhere. She is sitting and thinking all night long about how you are showing all your new tricks (you know yall do that) to some other, lesser (in her mind) whore and she can't take it. What else does she have to do? You're obviously not returning her phone calls as frequently anymore-nor showing up when you say you are going to. She becomes so OBSESSED with things being the way they "used to be" that she can't concentrate on anything else. She's alienated all the other men in her life and any of her friends who didn't approve of her relationship in the first place. She has nothing to do but sit and obsess.

...And then your beautiful, sexy fantasy of a woman morphs into an emotional, irrational psychopath and shoots your ass in your sleep.

It was confirmed yesterday that "New P*ssy" shot Steve McNair because she was jealous of his "budding romance" with "NEW New P*ssy". All the while,his WIFE is at home raising his children. Sheesh...

All in all, the moral of my story is STOP chasing New P*ssy and just get yourself a consistent piece of GOOD P*ssy. It's a much safer bet, unless it belongs to someone already. But that's a story for another day...

Additional Disclaimer: I am not trying to disrespect the dead or "hate on that dude" or anything. This sh*t is a reality and it just happened to be a famous person this time. It is my job as your local f*ckery enthusiast to keep you informed of all things f*ckery and the New P*ssy Hype is F*CKERY. That is all.


  1. I soooo agree!!! You couldn't have explained better!!! New p*ssy is gonna be the death of men (literally) if they don't start acting right!!!

  2. Great blog Danita and thanks for coining the phrase "NEW PUSSY", now I will have to start quoting it. But the word really does grabs ones attention lol. My take on this is: from the guys side, and I'm not sure what the situation was with dude and his wife but when you start being greedy and trying to hunt for "New Pussy" while married, there's no happy ending here, it will just end bad one way or the other(death, child support, alimony, etc etc). That could have easily been his wife taking both of them out. When you get yourself involved with the wrong unstable creature things are liable to go very wrong. So as a guy if you decided to marry the chick then do the right thing. If it's not working out divorce her and move on. As a woman if you're dating a guy who has a woman or is married and he cheats with you, please ACCEPT the fact that you're just temporary and he will cheat on you as soon as your ass gets boring or the new shinny "NEW PUSSY" comes along, irregarless of what lies his ass tells you. Cheating is a game, if he's gonna cheat he's going to tell you what you want to hear to get the "NEW PUSSY". So If you KNOWINGLY sleeps with a guy that has a girl you have essentially agreed in princial to play the game. Ladies and gentlemen please know the rules of the game before you decide to play it. Know that if he or she has a Significant other(SO) you will now be considered a Jump Off, F*ck Buddy, FWB, "NEW PUSSY" etc etc. So if you decide to play, know your roll and play it well :). Also know that you're temporary and since you've proven that you like sharing just know that another "NEW PUSSY" will come and you will have to share yet again or get replaced. Ladies and gentlemen again, don't go getting all psycho and committing murder-suicided because the "NEW PUSSY" is here, KNOW THE RULES BEFORE YOU PLAY. LOL

    - My two cents

  3. AnonymousJuly 15, 2009

    . . . I don't think you left anything out! LOVED IT . . . I hope everyone, both male and female, take a minute to read this!

  4. GIRL......., this blog, as usual, was on F*cking point!!! I so love this blog and its so damn true. I wish more men could read this blog and just realize how they set themselves up for things that can result in negativity. Kudos Ms. Brooks...me likey!!!!

    Listen up men, get some good consistent p*ssy and stop with always needing the NEw New!!!

  5. Babes... you're KILLING IT!

  6. damn it i thought i responded..guess not...this is sooo freaking true...new p*ssy will kill ya....good read..nikki B

  7. It's certainly a good story... many violent incidents and a good chunk of murders are caused by domestic disputes or relationship infidelity. But just how many "sweet young thangs" really go off and shoot up da bed without significant handfuls of drugs involved. And, unfortunately, how many men, particularly black men, get shot up just for being in the proximity of black women.. even ones to whom they have been faithfully married for decades.. even in their old ages? Not to racialize it.. remember Phil Hartman? He'd done nothing but keep his cokehead wife in furs, fancy houses and delusions for the length of their marriage and she flipped when he was about to stop enabling. Meanwhile... Mark Sanford's wife, who purchased for him a governor's seat after all, hides behind evangelical "reconciliation" language to hide the fact that she doesn't really give THAT much of a damn that he skipped out for a week or two so long as he is available for appearance's sake i.e. that she continue to APPEAR to be the wife of the governor of South Carolina. Not to say the lady doesn't have options.. if someone ELSE wants to be South Carolina governor and he is willing to marry her and go to the boys' baseball games I'm sure she'll think it over!!!

  8. when will men stop pu*sy hopping???